Top 10 Things More Real Than Manti Te’o’s Girlfriend

Let us be the first to admit that we’re a few days late to this party. It seems that almost everything that can be written about the subject of Manti Te’o and his not-so-dead, not-so-real girlfriend. However, since we’ve yet to come across a Top 10 list about the subject, and Top 10’s are sort of our thing, we had to take this opportunity to make fun of one of the most ridiculous non-sports sports stories to ever grace us with its presence. So without further ado, the top 10 things that are more real than Manti Te’o’s girlfriend:

10. Sasquatch – If you come from Idaho, your first reaction as probably, “no duh!”

9. Scientology – Tom Cruise paid us to write that and threatened the evil lord Xenu’s retribution against us.

8. Honest Politicians – Somewhere, just one place, there has to be one, right?

7. Nickelback Fans – I’ve been told that a lot people go to their concerts, but I always chalked it up to hyperbole.

6. Wrestling – At least it is to this guy.

5. Pamela Anderson’s Chest – As I’ve heard people say, “If I can touch them, they’re real!”

4. Katherine Heigl’s Acting – New Year’s Resolution #2: Never miss an opportunity for a cheap shot at Heigl.

3. Hour of Power Show’s Media Validity – If you can’t laugh at yourself, what can you laugh at?

2. Batman – Somebody finally came out and admitted to being him.

1. The Female Orgasm – Despite what Will Ferrell claims, I’m told it does exist.