Home > Miscellaneous, Pop Culture > Top 10 Things More Important Than “Kimye’s” Baby News

Top 10 Things More Important Than “Kimye’s” Baby News

Kanye seems as disgusted by this as we are.

Kanye seems as disgusted by this as we are.

As you’ve undoubtedly heard from either social media or the real “media” incessantly shoving this non-newsworthy down our throats, the celebrity couple, known as “Kimye” (Kim Kardashian and Kayne West) are now expecting a baby. As this announcement continues to travel at speeds that would make the Millennium Falcon blush (side note: 2013 will be the year I make Star Wars references whenever possible. Get ready!), the Hour of Power has come up with a Top 10 to cover this monumental moment: The Top 10 things that are more important than their baby news.

10. Ending the use of combined names to call a couple. It’s not cute or funny, it’s annoying. I’m sure the “Bennifer” and “Brangelina” creators found themselves witty at the time, but this overused device has joined the ranks of the “(Insert Scandal Here)Gate” moniker. Just stop!

9. Helping Kanye West understand the “fish sticks” joke. On second thought, him not understanding is a lot funnier.

8. Figuring out why the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings trilogy is interesting. This may very well be the “fish sticks” to my Kanye, or I’m one of the few sane people left. Likely the former.

7. Deciding who shot, Han or Greedo? I warned you about the Star Wars references.

6. Uncovering how Michael Bay gets to keep on making movies. Seriously, that guy has produced more dreck than Katherine Heigl and Tyler Perry combined.

5. Subscribing to the Hour of Power’s new podcast! We’ve repeatedly told you, we’re not above shameless self-promotion.

4. Following a sports team that doesn’t give you heartbreaking, agonizing losses. When you’ve suffered from the world’s deepest “infield fly” and Tony Romo in the same year, you know you’ve pissed off a higher power.

3. Burning every copy of the Drew Brees/Pepsi commercial. And that’s only the second-worse thing Saints fans have had to endure this year.

2. Winning your fantasy football championship. Whether you call it the Shiva, the She-Dre, the One-Eyed Hammer or some other grotesque, machismo name, it’s likely the biggest thing you accomplished this year. Congrats.

1. Everything. Well…as long as it doesn’t involve Kardashians, a certain East Coast shore or the letters M, T and V.

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