Home > Miscellaneous > The Zuck’s Diary: Private Passages from Mark Zuckerberg

The Zuck’s Diary: Private Passages from Mark Zuckerberg

Hour of Power has gained access to the diary of Facebook mogul, Mark Zuckerberg. The usually private Zuckerberg keeps a journal to let out all his deep thoughts and emotions.  The Hour of Power is more than delighted to share some select passages with you. 

July 27th, 11:30 p.m. 

Today I watched that shame of an event that they call the Olympics Opening Ceremony. What a joke! The Queen supposedly parachuting in? David Beckham driving a speed boat (because that’s what I think of when I see Mr. Posh Spice) with that smug, “your girlfriend is wet for me” look on his face! Well guess what David, I don’t have a girlfriend. I’m married. And she doesn’t like good looking guys, so there! Wait, that came out wrong…I’m so frustrated after this event, I feel like I attended Stanford. I better go to bed.

July 30th, 5:30 p.m. 

I want to shut down Facebook. Seriously, it’s gotten ridiculous. This was something I made so I could find out if girls were single or not … and drunkenly look through photo albums hoping to find bikini pictures. I didn’t make website so a bunch of over-sensitive people could get on here and blast anyone and everyone. No, no, no! When we got this thing rolling, all Justin Timb…er, I mean, Sean Parker and I would talk about is how girls would get drunk and post embarrassingly hot drunk photos of them online and we’d save them to our secret “hard” drive. Apparently girls stopped getting drunk and started reading CNN. This sucks. Even the girls at Harvard were sluttier than this. I would make a joke about the nerdy things they say in bed, but I don’t have any references…I need to cheer myself up. I’m going to watch the Olympic rowing event and laugh that those douchey Winklevoss twins aren’t on the team. Oh, what a bunch of idiots!

Check back later for more from Zuck and his deep, inspirational thoughts. 

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